Ghostown With The Mostown

Dear Party Guests, Leave if you have mentioned -even once- that the Avocado pits keep guacamole from turning brown. Punch yourself in the fa...

See Medieval Hear Medieval Speak Medieval

Dear Chaucer, Thanks for helping me continue my trend of blaming yesteryear figures for my modern day problems. Dear Rite Aid, It IS too soo...

Wrecknicolor

Dear Next Door Margie, Look, I love impromptu conversations about houseplants as much as the next gal, but you can't just pop out of you...

Love Shlongs

Dear Facebook, Thanks. Now every insignificant douche bag from my past can "reconnect" with me. Oh look! That guy I refused a BJ i...

XTREME XMAS

Dear Santa, I considered making a list, sure, unfortunately I never got around to it. Get off my back. I have a tight schedule. Can I risk d...

Stress Prince

Dear Guy, Don't look at me like I'm the dick. If you don't remember, YOU'RE the one who said I have "hamster hands,...

Family Ailbum

Dear Ruby Tuesday's, You and my Grandmother have the same taste. Dear 13yr Old Me, Joshua Jackson never asks you out. However, there...